This blog is now closed!

Sorry, but this blog is now closed. Don't you fret though, these types of posts will certainly make an appearance on Rand-o-mania!! when I have access to Photoshop again. So, while you can still read through these posts here, they are also available now at www.rand-o-mania.blogspot.com, along with plenty of other random stuff! Thanks!

Volume 5, Issue 2

Introducing the new revolutionary 24-Hour HEALTHNUT CLOCK! Do you need little reminders to eat right? Have you found your diet slipping away? Have you been so stressed that you forget to eat? Well, The 24-Hour Healthnut Clock is your answer to all these questions, and more! The Healthnut reminds you to get all your meals in, and get them in healthy fashion as well! You'll be in tremendous shape in no time! Start your day off with a fiber bar PACKED with protein. Move on to a complete balanced breakfast. If you're REALLY a health nut you'll even force down a heavy dosage of healthy fruit to chase your breakfast. Can't you see how this system could work for you already?! At 15 o'clock you'll find a fine lunch followed by a revitalizing snack to tide you over until dinner. Your dinner-reminder's main course will give your body ALL the essential vitamins and minerals it craves. This system even allows a lite dessert! (Watch out though, it will give you extra vitamins!) And the Healthnut Clock system even reminds you to get in that late-night snack before your complete night's rest! With Healthnut there's nothing to fret over! WE GUARANTEE YOU TO SEE A CHANGE ON THE SCALE, OR YOUR CLOCK IS FREE! Call now! 1-800-HLTHNUT *We also deliver to Mexico, ask for the Spanish version: <<¡EL RELOJ LOCO PARA ADICTOS DE AZÚCAR!>>

Volume 5, Issue 1

A sign of the times.

Volume 4, Issue 4

The Target Army (or Targarmy for short) is the latest outcome of the current economic crisis. American Target stores have now lent their horde of employees to the national defense cause. Due to budget cutbacks on military spending, the United States Army has begun an intensive training program to enable the workers of the many Target stores within the United States to help in ammunitions transfer, and is even giving them basic military training. Due to the seriousness of budget cuts, this Targarmy will need to be out on the lines doing their duty within 10 weeks. Shown above is the Vallejo, California Base where Karen Johnson is shown training others on ammunition packaging while simultaneously training workers on appropriate handgun usage. The original Target in Roseville, Minnesota will act as the corps' headquarters. Johnson says, "I have NO idea why we were chosen, but I'll do my best to pack up these grenades!"

Volume 4, Issue 3

One of the unforseen ramifications of the recent economic hardships has been mergers... interesting mergers. The most recent victim of these odd combinations of retailers was clothing giant Old Navy in its recent merge with pet supply goliath, Petsmart. These two beheamoths have now joined forces to bring us PetsNavy! The world's foremost fashion and pet store! You never know what surprises you might find in your new cargo pockets! Anything from crickets to the escaped python! Men, when it comes to looking your best and giving your best friend what he needs, you'll love their new matching His and His Dog's pajamas! Ladies, don't you worry either, PetsNavy now stocks plenty of matching bracelets and collars for you and your favorite kitty! Hurry in and enjoy!

Volume 4, Issue 2

Waterbottle Man roams the nation searching for those who are less than adequately hydrated. While you may think that his goal is to hydrate, or to spread valuable information about dehydration awareness, his actual goal is to kick every person who doesn't hydrate their bodies in the shin! He may have a cheerful countenance when you first see him, but that has certainly not stopped Waterbottle Man from appearing in the nightmares of many children across the country (possibly augmented by his appearance on Scooby Doo Episode #121, "The Waterbottle that Kicks.") Waterbottle Man is always in search of his next dehydrated victim... have YOU had enough water today?

Volume 4, Issue 1

The Maher Maher Fish is found near a tropical island off the eastern shore of Africa. It is known widely as the dumbest animal on earth. The Maher Maher frequently comes from the depths in search of a shark to eat it. It is not known why such a small fish would seek out a shark, but alas, this is a very dumb fish. Due to this peculiar behavior, the Maher Maher has become nearly extinct, and it is projected to be completely wiped-out by 2010. This photograph is the only known proof of the Maher Maher's existence. Get a good look at this dummy before it's gone.